All I can be is me

Everyone has personality flaws right?

I know I do. I can't help it. It has been brought to my attention on more than one occasion by more than one person that I'm not very sensitive to others, and I don't show that I care very well. I tend to come across a little bitchy and standoffish. The thing is I am honestly treating others how I would like to be treated. I don't ask to fix plates for people because I like to make my own, I don't ask how people are feeling because I don't like to be asked, I'm not very affectionate because for the most part I just don't like to be touched. I mean I can handle a hug, but my poor mother wants to rub my belly and talk to it and I try to let her because it's important to her, but it drives me crazy and sometimes I just can't handle it. I don't like to talk about my feelings to more than like 2-4 people in the world (hubs, besties, and Mom). I can blame some of this on having some pretty craptastic things happen to me that has just hardened me. I just tend to stay guarded without even knowing it. For the most part though it's just who I am. My Mom says even as a child I didn't like to be held, cuddled, touched, etc. It's just me and all I can be is me. I'm brash, I'm fairly blunt, I have no tact, etc. I can promise you though that I am real and you never have to guess what I'm thinking because I WILL tell you.


Somehow God saw fit to give me the most affectionate child I have ever met. I mean my little kiddo wants to give me hugs and kisses all day (and everyone else near her). She loves to be held and wants to be cuddled to sleep. I'm so happy He gave me such a wonderful and caring child because believe it or not she has helped me be a little more caring. Family has always meant a lot to me, but more so now. I try to attend all family functions I am aware of and try to plan some of my own. She might just break me yet:)

The thing is I think I'm a-okay! I mean.....I like me:) It's hard for me when people can't understand that I am just who I am, and while some things I do come across odd (or whatever else) to them I'm not TRYING to be mean. I'm not mad. I'm not hurt. It doesn't mean I don't like you. I'm not anything. I'm just being me.