Names.....why does it have to be so hard?

The hubs and I cannot agree on names for the life of us. It's really horrible. What's even more horrible is me changing my mind. The thing is I settle for names and when he likes them (and I mean really, really likes them) I decide I don't really like it after all. I try to convince myself, but I just can't do it.

We successfully decided on 2 names, only 2, we both equally like. Those are Hunter Lee for a boy and Victoria Rose for a girl. Kevin doesn't even really like the name Victoria, but he likes the combination of Victoria Rose a lot. Well, we already have a our Victoria Rose.....now what the heck are we going to do if we have another girl?

I successfully went through and ENTIRE baby book of names and wrote down all the names I liked. Kevin then went through that list and marked out what he didn't and we had a list of about 12 names.....I lost the danged list!!!! Ugh....I'm going to have to do that all. over. again. :*( I lost it after we had decided on Nadia Ragen.......then I decided I didn't like it too much. I don't know if that's because everyone, and I mean everyone, hates that name or not, but I just don't like it anymore. I tried to revive my like for the name because Nadia means hope and we really hoped for this baby, but I just don't like it anymore. Don't tell the hubs. I think he's onto me though since I keep throwing names at him every time he turns around. Here's what I like:

Adaline
Avery
Aubrey
Charlotte
Caroline
Emily
Lily
Penelope
Temperance (because I'm obsessed with Bones)
Violet


The hubs is throwing names right back. He likes:

Keleigh
Tara or Tera (and let me just tell you with it spelled Tera....makes me think of terrain....might as well name the
                     kid Dirt)

Okay...I can't remember anymore because I don't like them. I guess I should just drop the subject until we figure out what this kiddo is. If it's a boy I will have wasted a ton of energy trying to come up with a name when we already know it'll be Hunter (which I'm not so keen on anymore either, but I still like it enough). Why does it have to be so hard to name kiddos? I really like the idea of naming another girl with a V name, but the hubs really doesn't like Violet. He really pretty much hates all the names I like....can't I just name the kiddo whatever I want? I mean I carry it and deal with everything that goes along with it (like trying to not puke right now) and I birth it (which in my daughter's case was my blood pressure dropping like crazy and having an emergency c-section after 17+ hrs. of labor without pain meds.). I guess that's not very fair to the hubs though.

Three in one:)

This is a long one so this is your warning;) I have had a few things happen lately, and instead of trying to space them out (or not) and do 3 seperate posts I'm just going to combine them as one:) You will have to pardon the pictures because my camera is really not that great (and neither am I).

Today I got to see my OB and get an u/s; by him no less! I have been anxiously awaiting this day. I felt a lot better after the last u/s, but this week nerves were slowly creeping back. I was very, very nervous by this morning. I thought the bleeding had stopped previously, but it hadn't. I have been spotting almost daily. It has been the really dark brown, almost black old blood but it's still nerve wracking. So today, at 1 I went to my apppointment anxiously awaiting the u/s. When the doc came in and started the u/s I could not believe how much my baby had grown!!!! It was AMAZING!!! I couldn't stop talking about it, and then I realized the doc and nurse probably thought I was a nut case so I said "Well, I know it's still very small but it's a lot bigger than last time!" All was great:) The heartbeat was a strong 170 and the baby, like I said, has been growing like crazy! The doc showed me where the bleeding was coming from. He said it looked like it was congeling and that it was very small and shouldn't pose a problem. It's actually pretty far from the baby and it's no where near the placenta. That's good news because had it been near the placenta it could have kept it from attaching properly. Oh....and it looks like I will have an anterior placenta again and I am pretty stoked about that. After having the placenta between my stomach and Victoria like a little  pillow I'm kinda scared to think about how it would feel to have a baby actually beat me up and me be able to feel it. So...there's the good news of the day!!!!

8 wks. 5 days hb 170

When I got home from my appointment I checked the mail and there were some LOVELY things in there! My cloth diapers:) After my last blog I just couldn't help myself, I HAD to order som Lil' Joeys. I got those today and my gosh! I forgot how teeny tiny diapers were! They are too precious! Not only did they come, but so did my prefolds! I was all excited about washing them, but I don't have the proper detergent now:-( I have scented and I need regular ol' Tide. Oh...and greenmountaindiapers.com will give you a free pair of diaper pins with an order of a dozen or prefolds so I got some of those too. No, you don't have to use pins with prefolds, and I do mostly stick to snappis, but I honestly love pins. I'm excited!! Can you tell? LOL!

Just so you could see the size. Prefold under magazine and Lil' Joey on top. The prefold will even shrink:)

The last thing I wanted to talk about, but certainly not least was last night we had church to celebrate Maudy Thursday. This service really touched my heart and I almost cried several times. I really do adore church at night. There is just something peaceful about it. This service in particular was touching because it was to remember the last supper. I just sat there thinking how sad and amazing it would have been to sit around that table while Jesus was telling his Disciples that one would betray him. To sit there as he spoke of the new covenant that would be made with his blood. Listening as he told them to "do this often in remembrance of me." Communion means a lot to me and last night was no exception. Every time we have communion (at my church it's the 1st Sunday of every month and then on other special occasions) it really hits home with me. It has recently been brought to my attention that some people purposely avoid church when they know there is going to be communion and that just makes me very sad. I sit there almost in tears every. single. time. Just thinking of how God gave his only son Jesus to die for our sins. For the stupid I wasn't thinking sins, the going down the wrong path sins, the sins we know are sins but for some reason think it's okay at the time. Jesus died for us and asked us to break bread in remembrance of him and people avoid that. That really breaks my heart. As for me....even when I've been sliding down that slippery slope of missing church, no one can keep me from communion.

Cloth Diapers

Oh how I love you! It has been a little while since I have used cloth since my DD was potty trained back in November and I am VERY excited to start thinking about using them again! I really should use my beloved CDs at night, but......I have found only BumGenius works for this and considering I only have like ummmm....maybe 3 that would fit my DD (and I cannot convince myself to buy more for her) they were really getting ragged with all the washing. So we use disposable at night. Anywho...this is not about her. LOL! I just bought 21 new diapers for the new baby!!!!! I ventured over to my fave place greenmountaindiapers.com and looked at the seconds section and low and behold....there were some organic preemie ones for $0.85 each!!!!! I bought 20:) After tax and everything is was right under $24. I am one happy Momma! Granted.....babies are not in the preemie size very long and some parents just skip them however; my little Victoria was a super slow grower and I am going to guess she would have been in this size at least 2 months. Even if these never fit your little one they will work great as doublers at night, on long trips, or if baby is a heavy peer. Oh...and really I'm not going to lie....the main reason I bought these is I like a really trim fit. I would rather pay $24 and have those super cute newborn clothes fit:)

I'm also looking into some Rumparooz Lil'Joeys! I am very excited about these.  They are AIO's so they won't need covers:) I don't usually like that sort of dipe because it takes FOREVER to dry, but I'm going to suck it up with these. I mean I have some AIO BumGenius and I really like to have those handy for the hubs since he refuses to change a prefold. Anyway....I'm shooting for a dozen or so of these and I got my first one (a used lime one) today from diaperswappers.com (another fave diaper store of mine). I can't wait to get all these new diapers in!! I really don't need a lot of diapers since I have the ones I used with V. I mean 11 or less more Rumparooz and I'm set. Can you imagine?! I mean....I don't even have to have the Rumparooz.....I didn't HAVE to have the preemie prefolds. I seriously could have gotten by with getting no new dipes. Talk about saving a ton of $!!!! When it's all said and done (as long as it's not a boy....then I'll need new covers) I will probably have spent $100 or less getting diaper ready for baby #2.

Oh...and just f.y.i., in regards to the seconds, I get these dipes every chance I get and would highly recommend it! They are not used (not that I have a problem with used), they just don't meet the company's standards. I have ordered 6 BumGenius seconds (none with problems) and 16-18 Green Mountain prefold seconds (only 1 needs to be run back through my sewing machine).

8 wks. 2 days

Well, I could still take a picture, but I haven't and I think I am just going to wait until 9 wks. The idea of having 30+ pictures seems a little much. Maybe I'll start doing pics every other week. I was really bad at staying on top of taking pictures when I was pregnant with Victoria as well, but I wanted to share the pictures from that adventure since I didn't have a weekly picture. Oh, and I fought and fought with that stupid picture...sorry it's so little.

So, I'm pretty bad at posing for pictures as well. LOL! Those pictures start at 5 wks. and go all the way to 39 wks. I "popped" at 25 wks. and I think that picture is pretty apparent. I know the top row is 5, 10, 13 and the bottom is 25, 30, 39.....not sure about the middle row. I mean I have it written down I just don't feel like looking it up right now. I think its 16, 17, 20. I think right now I look pretty comparable to the 10 or 13 picture of my last pregnancy. I will post a side by side at 10 wks.

I have an u/s this week!!! So excited AND so nervous about that. I thought the bleeding had stopped, but I still spot. Some days it mostly nothing and then some days it's a lot more than nothing. It's stressful. All I can do is let go and let God so that's what I'm doing. Weight is still at 147 so I'm excited about that:) No more hot flashes, but a lot more nausea and......gas. Great. Oh, and my boobs are freaking killing me. If the wind blows in my direction they hurt! LOL! Anyway......this was kind of a random sort of post.

7 weeks, 1 day

OMG, I feel totally GROSS all the time! I never got hot with Victoria like you're supposed too and so this is a new experience. I get hot flashes all the time which makes me sweat like crazy which in turn makes me feel totally gross. Showers never felt as good as the do now! On top of all that it has been pretty warm and humid which doesn't really help the gross factor. Once again, totally not complaining, just making note of symptoms I am experiencing.

Also, I am ALWAYS starving or nauseous. A lot of time, about half way through whatever I'm eating, I feel stuffed and just can't eat another bite and feel sick again. Oh.....and HELLO headaches and sciatica nerve pain! That stuff is so not fun. I could barely walk the other day when my sciatica nerve went crazy again. I have had a constant dull pain in my left hip since I was pregnant with V, but I had pretty nasty sciatica pain when I was pregnant with her. Pregnancy does a number on your body that's for sure! Still, I would much rather have these symptoms and be pregnant than not, that is for sure:)

147

The belly is really getting bigger! I was this size at like 13 wks. or so last time. It's pretty amusing to me since your uterus is not even big enough to come out of your pelvis until around 13 wks. I guess since my body already knows what it's doing though it's not wasting any time;)

Our baby has a heartbeat!

I'm a day behind with this post and therefore there will be one tomorrow too when I progress on to 7 weeks:)

It was a long (just over) 2 days after my night at the ER. I even went to bed around 7 on Thursday night so that Friday would come sooner (and because I was exhausted). Even after Friday got here it went slow. We had to wait in the dang waiting area for almost an hour. On top of that when the hubs and kiddos and I got there I saw signs everything that said only 2 guests were allowed back including children! I feel that is a crazy restriction, but I was able to convince them that I had no idea of this rule and I needed to take 3 back as the hubs had taken off of work just to see the baby. Whew....they said they would make an exception this time, but for future visits I needed to have no more than 2. So, we finally get back there, and we got to not only see our little one's heartbeat, but hear it as well!!! I really did not think you could hear it that early. Matter of fact, I was so shocked that I asked if it was mine. The ultrasound tech smiled and told me they don't usually check for the mother's heartbeat. LOL! So, it's not the best picture ever, but here's our baby!!!!

heartbeat = 118

We thought that was pretty slow, a.k.a. boy, but after some research it seems that from 6-7 weeks the average range is 90-110 so now I'm thinking high;-) They were able to tell where I had been bleeding from and apparently I have a small subchorionic bleed below the baby. I have to take it easy for the next few weeks (no working out and no sex), and go back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound. 

After the ultrasound I had my prenatal workup up 1 floor at my OB's office with a nurse. We went over family history and then she took 9 (!) vials of blood. I already felt lightheaded since I had nothing to eat that morning, but after that I was very lightheaded. I had some juice, got some prenatal vitamin samples (they would like me to take one with DHA) and was on my merry way. 

Next appointment is on the 22nd and it will be with my OB and he'll be doing the ultrasound. EXCITED!!!! 

Scary, Scary!

I can pretty much promise you that one of the scariest things that a pregnant woman can go through is bleeding bright red blood. That is the horrible scare that I got yesterday. I will forever blame it on pushing myself too hard while running and also not getting enough fluids. I went for a run, I went to Target, I came home and set down to eat some lasagna, and that is when IT happened. I felt a warm, kind of gush and without thinking checked it out. To my horror, what I saw was bright red blood. In my mind a lot of bright red blood. Not a little brown spotting that you hear can happen and is normal. I had the bright red, fresh blood that you do have to worry about. It  was constant too; anytime I checked there was some. I freaked out! I just started crying. I was positive I had lost the baby. It was bed time for Victoria and she was screaming because she wanted Mommy to put her to bed and all she was getting was Daddy. I called my best friend and thank goodness she was more calm than me. Thank God I have a friend that knows when I need her even when I don't know what I need. She came right over, reassured me, took Victoria home with her for a sleep over, prayed for me, and overall gave me more support than I could have ever asked for.

Hubs and I went to the ER. We didn't even know if it mattered what ER, but followed my Mom's advice and went where we plan to deliver. I tried to calm down on the way there but I kept feeling warm small gushes of blood. I knew I had lost the baby. They got us back pretty quick and tried to help raise my spirits. I felt stupid for going. I know there is nothing they can do for a miscarriage. They took some blood and a urine sample, had my cervix checked, and then I had an ultrasound. This was all a pretty slow process. The blood levels were good (20,588), my cervix was still closed......I held onto some hope. The bleeding had also slowed. The ultrasound was horrible. The tech told me before she started that she wouldn't be allowed to tell me anything.  She had to pass on the results and my doctor would come talk to me about them. I just prayed over and over the same prayer while I was waiting. Please dear God, let there be a heart beat. What seemed like forever passed and the doctor came in. He told me there was a little 6 week old thing in there with a flicker!!!!!! Oh, the relief.

I know that I have to be careful now. I told the hubs while waiting that if there was a heartbeat I was not going to push myself so hard at working out and I wasn't going to worry about weight gain so much. I really do not care how much I gain now as long as I get this baby safely into the world. I was told to take it easy for a few days, follow up with my ob, and was given my rhogam shot. Words cannot express how happy I am right now; cautiously happy. By the time I had got back home, 6 hrs. later, I had stopped bleeding. I have my ultrasound at my docs office in 2 days and I am just hoping that we will still have good news then. I will call today and let them know what happened, but I am pretty positive there is no point in me going in before Friday. Hopefully, things will be fine and progress normally the rest of the pregnancy.

6 Weeks:)

So yes, now I am going to be super annoying by doing a weekly update. I am just so excited to be on this journey and I cannot help myself to want to update regularly. Plus, I like that I will be able to look back and see my symptoms and feelings. I am even going to update my weight which is kind of yucky because I really let myself go crazy during my birthday month and gained a whopping 7 lbs.!!! EEEK! Oh well, can't really worry about that now.

146 lbs.

I am going to start with a little disclaimer......I am in no ways complaining about ANYTHING. I may list not so fun symptoms simply because they are what I am experiencing at the time, but I am not complaining. I have tried too hard for too long to complain. 

The constant hunger seems to have subsided for that most part, and I am starting to really like salads, soups, and fruit (which is much better than the chips and cheese I previously HAD to have). I am trying to eat well so that baby has the best to grow on:) I am really, really, really cramping and it already hurts most the time for me to lay on my belly. Usually it hurts when I am propped on my elbows; sleeping on the belly is no problem though. I keep going back and forth from exhausted some days to full of energy the next. I am trying to continue working out and the plan is to run 3 miles 3-4 days/week and weights 2 days. Working out is important during pregnancy; it helps mentally, it's good for baby, it helps you to not gain too much, it helps prepare you for labor, and it helps to get back in shape afterwards. I workout for all of these reasons (I am NOT working out to lose weight or anything crazy like that). I've done pretty good at almost cutting out caffeine; I still have an occasional half glass of soda (I gave up coffee for lent). My boobs are growing and are starting to get pretty sensitive. Nausea has started showing it's head here and there. I'm feeling really good over all and I am so excited. Baby's heart started beating today!!! The rest of this trimester is pretty huge for baby's development, and other than that the end of the first trimester May 15 or 22 (apparently some peeps say that the first trimester ends at 12 weeks and others say after 12 weeks so whatev). 

BTW, really soon I am going to FINALLY break out the sewing machine and attempt making a chic hospital gown!!! Can't wait! If it goes well (and probably even if it doesn't) I fully intend on blogging about that.