Avoiding the "Summer Slide"

I feel like I haven't been on here in forever!! I keep meaning to come visit.....sorry..

Anywho...

I have pulled the girls out of daycare (or as we call it school) for the summer. I'm not working and normal school is out for the summer so I felt like it was what we should do. Victoria will go to a Parents Day Out program starting next week though so that she does still have some social time and a little bit of "school" type work. She has made MAJOR strides this past year and I really don't want to go backwards. I want to avoid the "summer slide," but here's the problem.....she doesn't like me to teach her. She doesn't really focus well with me and it's kind of hard to dedicate the time while like monster Em's is running around. I have decided to give ABCmouse a go and I really like it! I would HIGHLY recommend that you set up an account without the little one(s) present though because it was hard to figure out a starting level without really looking into it. I chose to start on level 3 because that is the first level in her age range but I felt like it was really easy for her because it's stuff she learned awhile ago and has pretty much mastered it. Today I was just going to build her a lesson that I felt was more on her level, but thankfully I checked out the next couple of levels and BOOM....level 5 is just what she needed. She loves that she can earn tickets for things so I don't have to beg her to do it. It only goes to level 6 so I'm not sure how long we'll be using it but I'm glad we have it for now.

I also went and bought a workbook. Those things are not cheap for sure! I bought one from Target because I had the girls I didn't really feel like shopping around but I have heard they have them at the Dollar Tree has them and I know a local place called "Ollies" has them as well. I should probably check out the Dollar Tree because I drive by that place daily BUT I just hate returning something and then going to another store...buckling and unbuckling kiddos. Call me lazy....I just can't stand it. The book is great though! It is by School Zone here's a linky to their site. My favorite thing is that is covers everything in one book! While it is a little pricey..I'm just going to be honest...I will *probably* keep with this brand and get her one every summer because I really do like the layout and it goes up to grade 6. I will definitely look at other books next time I am at the other stores I mentioned but they would really have to blow this one out of the water and be a lot cheaper. I know I could find individual books that I like, but like I said.....I really like that it's all in one.

Victoria works out

Victoria works out. It's so cute :-) 

I run and she knows that. Sometimes she sees me or me and Kevin doing circuit type work outs. She generally joins in to the best of her ability and well......Emily just runs around in circles laughing. 

Victoria asks why I work out and I tell her it's good for your muscles and your heart. It is. I'm not going to lie.....I do it for that...but I also do it for sanity and for weight control. I like to eat. Yummy chicken wings, ice cream, fudge rounds......I've gotten better lately....since I have too. My metabolism is apparently not what it used to be. That's okay.....I need to eat well so the girls see how to eat well. 

Anywho.......I was going some where with that. I tell Victoria that it's for your heart and muscles because I don't want her having weird or bad body image. I had that. I have that. It's not fun. I just want her to work out because you should and I want her to eat healthy because you should and then body should be a okay. 

She loves it. 

She is dying to run with me. I told her when she can run 1 mile I will start letting her do races. I have started working with her but ummmmm....she runs straight up and down with a lot of movement. She runs like a girl. I don't know how hard to push her since you know....she's 4. I just tell her that she has to believe in herself and not say "I can't." I'm going to go running with her as often as she wants to though because I am not going to try to talk her into being lazy. I do try to get her to run the entire time we out (a whopping .37 miles). She doesn't. That's okay. 

It does make me super happy though that she likes to work out. I was putting Emily to sleep and Victoria was making a lot of noise....so I look over and what was she doing...Burpees, wall sits, jumping jacks, and high knees. LOL! She cracks me up. She was driving Kevin crazy but that's okay. I told her she could work out but just try to be as quite as possible. 

Kiddos are crazy :-) 

4 Going on 14

About a month ago Victoria told me she was 4.....like 14! Then she died in a hysterical giggle fit and ever since she has been saying she is 14 pretty regularly. It definitely does seem like she is 4 going on 14.

1) She has decided that she thinks Justin Bieber is soooooo cute!!! She seriously knows who he is. I showed her a picture of him one day and she got all giggly and said "That's Justin Bieber!!!!!" Kevin tried to tell her she didn't even know who he was and quizzed her as to where he lives...her response "California (with the duh you're so stupid voice and the eye roll)." I don't think she knew what he was known for though because I let her listen to a song and asked her if she liked his voice and she laughed and said "Like a girl voice!!!!" We had no idea this started so young :-/

2) She now reads her sight words with a side ways glance. Seriously?! Yes, honey you are so cool that you don't even have to look at the index card to read the word....it just pops into your head.

3) She always has her hands on her hips while making sassy faces. Seriously....the faces she makes are teenage "Oh my gosh I'm like totally cool" faces. What in the world?!?!

4) Every other word out of her mouth is "Awesome" or "Cool."

5) Only she can pick out her clothes....her night clothes...her socks.....her shoes......EVERYTHING! She will not wear it if she does not pick it out.....at least not without a total melt down.

Edited to add in #6.....I knew I was forgetting something!!!

6) Yesterday she heard Rihanna's song Diamonds.....she exclaimed "This is my favorite song!" I had no response....

What have we gotten ourselves into. I am scared. At least the clothes she likes to wear are super conservative:-)

I'm not who I want to be

I have finally started being able to get in some longish runs lately and I have a lot of time to think during such things. Today I ran 9 miles (I don't really consider them long runs until after like 13)....it took about an hour and half. I thought about a lot.

I thought about how it was an absolutely gorgeous day and how I am so thankful to God for having today.....just having now. Then I thought about how I really need to stop being so....not sure what you call it but constantly wanting more....ya know? Things like.."Oh, well hopefully next year after (hopefully) getting a job...we can get a camper!" You know...maybe we will...maybe we won't but we have so much right now. We have a home, we have vehicles, we have extended family and our core family, we have food in our bellies and clothes on our back. I don't want to be that person anymore. I don't want to plan for what we might have next year. I want to be happy...grateful really, with what we have right now.

I thought about how I lose my patience with Victoria a lot lately. Not like I'm beating her or anything....I just get so tired of everything being an argument. Like this:

V: I get to start a new school when I'm 6!
Me: Actually you'll start a new school when you are 5 because you'll start kindergarten:)
V: No! We have a 4-5 class I'm my school now!! We don't have a 6 class so that is when I start a new school!

Well.....that's very logical....I understand the train of thought there.

Me: I know honey but really you'll start kindergarten when you are 5.5 because it starts in Aug. and you'll be old enough next Aug.
V: (crying and mad) No! I start a new school when I'm 6!!!!
Me: (frustrated because she is yet again crying over something that seems so little) Jeez Victoria! Stop crying about it. It's not a big deal!
V: I start a new school when I'm 6!!
Me: I'm not arguing with you!

Fun stuff. Why do I argue with a 4 year old? Why do I let it get to me so much? This is not who I want to be. I want to have more patience and understanding. It's just so hard lately. Everything is an argument with tears....what to wear...what to eat...when to eat....when to go outside. Everything.

Moving on though....Have you ever been hurt really deep by someone you love? I'm sure you have. It sucks.  Well....I have this problem. I feel like if I could just explain myself enough, if I just try harder, if I just take the blame enough. I mean seriously I just can't let go. I dwell on it. I tell myself every day the cold hard truth of it, and that's this.....that person never really cared about me. It was fake. You can't care about someone, stab them in the back, throw them under the bus, and then call foul and never talk to them about it. If you care you put forth an effort. It's not about me...it's about them. It still hurts that people can treat you like that. I don't want to be the person that dwells on it though. That's not who I want to be. I pray and ask God to take it but it's like I really still don't let Him. Victoria is just starting to get hurt and disappointed in friends and I want to teach her how to handle it appropriately and I have to do that through modeling it myself.

She has a little friend at school that she adores. She told me one day that this friend hurt her feelings because she got on yellow and she wanted her to be on purple (they flip cards for behavior). I told her that her friend did not hurt her feelings but that she disappointed her and that she most certainly did not mean to. I told her all she can do is encourage her friend to have appropriate behavior and that she (Victoria) must always have really good behavior so her friends could see how they should act.

I want her to understand we can't make people behave a certain way or like us or any of that. I want her to grow up always being kind to everyone. I want her to know most people don't hurt us or disappoint us on purpose and you can't be upset about an accident. If somebody does hurt us on purpose then you for sure can't be mad at that person because they are just sad, hurt, and/or angry people and those people need our love and prayers more than those that hurt us on accident. I'm trying really hard to model this. It's hard. I don't want revenge but I somehow think I can fix anything. I can't.

I want to be who God wants me to be. I want to be slow to anger and quick to love. That's not really how the bible verse goes...here ya go "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." James 1:19.

So...I'm not who I want to be yet but I was feeling very lost recently and I have been thinking about all this a lot lately....particularly when I run surrounded by God's beauty. I finally realized why I felt lost....because I'm not who I want to be or who God wants me to be. So I've been working on it and I don't think it is something I will ever be perfect at...and that's okay. I am getting better though and I have 2 little angels that make me want it more. Being a parent is hard. It makes you look very closely at who you are and how you are perceived.....at least it should because you have these little beings that learn who to be from who you are.

Washing my face with oil?

So...I haven't washed my face in 4 days........at least with soap and water. I mentioned forever ago that I wanted to start washing my face with oil....but I was a little nervous about it to say the least. Well...I finally took the plunge. Granted it has only been you know...4 days...but still...my face feels fab!!!! Plus...I had a huge zit the first day I washed with oils (um...this is gross....but I'm a picker....I totally popped it and then washed).....the next day it was G.O.N.E!!!! Seriously!!! I also had some darker spots from older breakouts and now they are almost all gone too! There is one spot left!!! I am pretty positive it is working for wrinkles that are trying to be on my forehead as well;)

Well....so I mixed up 3 oz. castor oil and 7 oz. olive oil and went to town. I read other blogs about this and they say it washes off make-up so I put all this in some flip-top bottles from Wal-Mart (4 for $2...I filled 3) and went to town. I don't think I will ever go back. After I finish washing my face I follow-up with some coconut oil....because that stuff is AMAZING!!!

How I "Wash"

I turn on the hot water and throw a wash cloth under the stream. I squirt about a quarter size in my palm. I massage into my face for...I don't know....a while. I pay particular attention to my forehead since it's trying to get wrinkles....I massage my whole face with my eyes closed and I escape from the baby screams for about 3 min. I guess. I go over my eyes to get the mascara and eyeliner, etc. off. Then I reach in the sink, squeeze the wash cloth out and put it over my face for a couple of secs., gentally wipe off, put in under the stream...repeat for about 2-3 more times. I then put the coconut oil on and I am done.

My face is fab:)

Try it. You'll never go back.

More to come on how coconut oil is changing my life in the near future!

Getting old.....or not.

Soooo...I'm coming up on my 29th birthday. I thought I would be freaking out. I mean....hello.....last year in my 20s!!!!!! EEEEKKKKK!!!

Well, after I turned 26 I was fretting BIG time! I just stayed 25 until recently. I mean seriously, every year when people asked I just said I was 25. I even had myself completely convinced I was 25. When Hugh was engaged to 24-year-old Crystal I was all...."Dude that is how old I am!!! Wait...no...I'm 28.....just kidding." Maybe that's what brought me around to reality....not sure. Now I'm good with my age.

When I was in high school I was not confident at all. Seriously, I had no idea where I fit in. I played tuba in band, was on the swim team (very briefly), and played basketball. Was I a band nerd? Was I a cool athlete? I had no clue. I just kinda.....wore pj's all the time, talked to everybody.....and just couldn't wait to grow up. I just wanted to get married and have kids. Main goal in life no joke. I wanted to be a wife and mommy.

I partied in my 20s though and swore I'd never settle down.....until I met my sweet hubs. I still was not comfortable with who I was.

I am now though. With age I have learned about true love, working in relationships, true friendships, about a stronger relationship with God...I have learned who I am. I have learned to be okay with who I am no matter what. I have learned that if you don't like me....fine. I'm not going to bend over backwards to be something I'm not for anyone.

I have everything I have ever dreamed about....a husband and children that love me....everything else is just icing on the cake. I feel better about who I am every. single. day. I'm perfectly okay with the big 2-9.....and right around the corner the big 3-0. I look forward to it really. I look forward to life. I don't like that I have to remember to moisturize (I totally didn't have to do that just 2-3 years ago)...but really....whatever. I LOVE my life. I love the confidence and knowledge of getting older.......and the fact that every single student  thus far has been amazed (or at least acted like it) that I am 29 makes it all the sweeter. I love every single one of them that tell me I look 22-25:) I'll take it for sure!!!!!

Children are amazing! You don't get to experience these life experiences until you are older....and that makes getting older all the better. Yes.....BETTER! Plus....2 of my besties share my birthday month and year.....that makes every birthday that much sweeter:)

Substitute Teaching

I know you all are dying to know about this and read on some subbing:)

So I finally finished school and I was ready for a classroom!! Can someone please give me a classroom? I am ready to decorate and help children grow. No? Yeah, I haven't had any luck so far. I visited a ton of schools, met principals, dropped off resumes....now I'm subbing.

I'm going to be honest. I didn't want to sub.  I really was unhappy it had come to substitute teaching BUT.......now I know the experience has been invaluable. I have learned so much! I have been at inner city schools where the teachers are moved around and have meetings all day. A lot of the students come into kindergarten not knowing their letters because their parents don't know to work with them at home. I have been in new schools and old schools. I have been in schools from nice areas and not so nice areas. I have been to schools with a loose uniform policy and schools with "structured recess." I have been in 3 different counties. I have done public and private. I have been to elementary, middle, and high schools.

I definitely know now what my "dream" schools are. I know what kind of questions to ask principals. I know the things about me that are good and the things I need to work on. I have seen great classrooms and horribly unorganized classrooms.....I have learned what I want my classroom to feel like. I have learned how schedules change the whole flow of the day...what to put first, what to put last, how to plan around special areas and lunch and recess and children going in and out of class.

I have learned about sub plans. I have had detailed plans and I have had no plans. I have had videos all day in high school to normal lessons in kindergarten. The format is never the same. Sometimes they tell me about difficult students....sometimes they don't. Sometimes they tell me which kids will be pulled out during the day....sometimes they don't.

Oh! And every school dismisses differently. That in and of itself is mind blowing to me. There are just so many different ways to dismiss school and goes from extremely structured to see ya later! I have to really read up on that part every morning though because that part is usually very structured and the part I'm expected to play is very precise.

I am thankful for the opportunity to substitute now. I am meeting principals and teachers and that was the original point, but I am growing in knowledge as a future educator. I now feel every teacher should have to spend a certain amount of time substituting before getting a classroom of their own. I learned a lot from student teaching but substituting has given me a completely different perspective.

So I guess this blog is me just saying....sometimes we don't understand God's plan....we grumble and complain....He always knows what he is doing though. This experience has definitely taught me to not worry so much and just trust in God.