CD 1

Hello CD1! Oddly enough you are one of  my most hopeful days during the cycle. This day is full of hope. I guess it should be a depressing day since it also signals the last cycle was not successful, but I already knew that.  Once I know a cycle has not been a success I just look forward to getting to try again. I always start with high hopes, and as weird as it may sound, look up all my important dates for when I get pregnant this cycle. Yes, I do this weird, obsessive thing every single time. I am very optimistic during my cycle until that day comes that I should get a positive but instead I get a negative. So....here are my dates! LOL! Writing them here will save me from having to research them regularly....I know....I sound crazy; I'm just very type A personality. I am a planner, what can I say.

Sun., Jan. 23: CD 1
Thurs., Jan. 27: CD 5, First day of Clomid
Mon., Jan. 31: CD 9, Last day of Clomid, YAY!!!!!!
Mon., Feb. 14: CD 23, Blood Test
Sun., March 6: 6wks - heart starts beating and is visible through u/s
Thurs., March 17: My birthday! 7 wks., 4 days
Sun., April 24: End of 1st trimester!!!
Thurs. April 28: My friend's baby boy is due and beginning of all V's little boy friends turning  2! 13 wks. 3 days
Sun., May 8: 15 wks, baby can see light
Sun., June 5: 19 wks, baby can hear and sounds and sex can be determined!!!
Sat., Jun 18: Wedding to go to, 20 wks, 6 days
Fri., July 15: Kevin's last birthday in his 20's and beach time! 24 wks, 5 days.
Sun., July 31: Baby can breathe and End of 2nd trimester and end of 2nd semester back at school! 27 wks
Sat., Aug. 6: Very special 1st b-day! 27 wks., 6 days
Sun., Oct. 9: Baby is full term! 37 wks.
Fri., Oct. 28: 4 yr. anniversary:-) 39 wks., 5 days
Sun., Oct. 30: 40 wks! Baby get out of my belly! LOL!

So, yes I know this seems crazy, but it makes me excited and I like to be excited and think positive. I like to know where I would be in a pregnancy for everything coming up in my life. I like to plan to achieve my goal. I've always wanted an Oct. baby....and I am not keen on a winter baby so it is going to happen this cycle. This is not stress talking.....this majorly awesome positive vibes talking:-) Oh..and new baby would be 15 wks. when little V turns 3.

The beginning......kinda

I'm not sure where I am headed with this blog. I'm not really trying to get followers or do how-to's. I think this blog is more of an electronic journal of sorts along with some letters to my daughter. So here's to trying to keep up a blog:)

Sooo.....tomorrow I start Clomid. I never thought I would be here. I figured I would not be one of those women who got pregnant the first month of trying, but I never imagined that it would be this difficult. Every month I try to not get my hopes up, and every month I feel like a loser when my period starts. The longer it takes means the further apart my children will be and I don't like that either. I watch my little girl play "Mommy" to her little babies and I just hope against hope that this will be the month I can finally start growing her little brother or sister. I hope that she will still be in the phase by the time a little one finally comes along. I have high hopes that we will conceive the first month. I hate to have such high hopes, and I try not to, but there's no one to lie to here so what's the point? My husband is actually going out of town 2 days that we are supposed to bd as well, so that doesn't help any. I gave him a piece of my mind for that, but it's for work and I really shouldn't complain about it. I'm too nervous to be really excited and that doesn't really help matters either. Anyway, crossing my fingers.