I really wanted to write about the drama in my life yesterday, but I didn't for 2 reasons. 1) It was not really my drama to share, and 2) I think it's not appropriate to do that sort of thing for every one to see. Well, I have decided that I'm tired of sugar coating things. I'm tired of random people thinking bygones should be bygones. I'm going to air my drama without names and without how they are related to me. For all you peeps know it could be my great-aunt's second cousin's daughter-in-law drama. LOL! I created this blog to act as a journal or diary or whatever you want to call it. I may screen myself in many aspects of my life, but when it comes to this blog it is solely for me, and so if writing this crap down makes me feel better.....yay!
So my thoughts are when does a person treat you so horribly that you cut them out of your life? When do you decide that you can't handle anymore.....even if they are family? What situations call for you to suck it up and say, life is too precious and too short to let this ruin not only 1 relationship but many? I am ready to move on and forgive and forget. I honestly feel like I am way past this point. I'm not good with bible versus, but I know there are a ton out there that tell you to forgive and forget and move on. I also know there are a lot that warn you about trusting those that can't be trusted and not putting yourself in bad situations. Where is that line? When is okay to cut people out? For me that point is now. I'm not sure if it's okay by God or anything......he can judge me when my time comes, and everyone else can just not preach to me and tell me I'm not being a Christian. I have prayed, and prayed, and prayed and I'm at peace with my decision.
I was going to get into what all happened here. I mean I seriously just deleted it. I don't have to say everything that has happened and hear people tell me I'm right or wrong. I'm just at that point where I feel like enough has been done in a conniving, sneaky manner that I can't forgive and forget. I feel like this person treats me one way in front of people just to look good and completely different when people aren't looking. I feel like this person actually doesn't do 1 thing for others out of the goodness in their heart, but only so they look like such a wonderful person and so they have something to hold over others. All I can think is I will never again put myself in a situation to be hurt by this person. I tried the whole I'll be around you, but not talk to you, but yet again I have been hurt. Yet again I gave this person the benefit of the doubt (after harboring bad feelings for over a year), and they very quickly showed me why I didn't want anything to do with them......again. I think there has to be a point where it's not okay to keep going back for another dose of pain. There just has to be a breaking point. The thing is, things have gotten so bad that I will not go around this person. They have hurt my whole family. I can't make decisions for my husband; he is a grown man and can make his own choices, but as for me and my daughter........this person will no longer be in our lives.
As I said before, this blog is for me. When I feel depressed or discouraged about the situation I will return to this blog and say, "Self....here is your peace. Here is the choice you have decided to make. You don't have to be depressed, discouraged, or feel guilty. You have thought this through logically and over a long period of time. It is okay to let it go." So, I'm going to try to let it go.....that will take some time. I just don't have room in my life for this crap any more. I just have room for love and goodwill.
I hope that anyone that does read this, that may be in a horrible situation but they're holding on through obligation, now feels that they can just let go of the bad. I hope everyone can draw that line in their life where they say, enough is just enough.
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