Victoria has a lot. She is blessed with a large family and lots of friends that love her, and so she ends up with a lot of clothes and toys. She gets told "no" a lot too though. Every single time we go somewhere she of course grabs something and wants it, but the answer is pretty much always "no." When she was really little it was harder on her, but now she knows she can't pitch a fit and get what she wants. We say no and she hugs whatever it is she has, sets it down, and off we go. Is she disappointed? Sure. Is that a bad thing? I'm going to go with no. She needs to learn disappointment.
Mommy and Daddy aren't going to be able to sweet talk the coach into letting her on the team when she is older, we aren't going to be able to make other kids like her if they don't, we can't make someone hire her just because she really wants the job, etc. Do I like to disappoint her? Of course not! I do feel like she is learning a
Right now Victoria plays wee ball and that is even hard on me. I am really not into not keeping score, everyone gets a chance type sports. I *think* next year when she is doing t-ball they start being more real about the whole thing. I'm not sweating it this year since wee ball is all 3 and 4 year olds. I heard that they have cheerleading where you cheer for both teams though.....seriously?! No. I'm sorry. There is a winner, there is a loser, there is defense, and there is offense.....get real people! Victoria is going to start cheering in the fall and she will be cheering for 1 team....AND she's going to learn to support that team when they lose as well as when they win. I also don't let her quit stuff halfway. She has to learn to finish what she starts. That's a different post though ;)
I'm concerned that kids today can't even have birthday parties though without parents getting upset that their kids weren't invited. I remember not being invited to every party.....it wasn't fun....it was life. I also remember practicing for 3 hrs. most days to make the basketball team when I was in middle school. If I didn't make the team my Mommy or Daddy couldn't simply go to the coach and say...."You really hurt my kid's feelings by cutting them. They need to be on the team." nor could they go to a college I applied for had I not been accepted and tell the admissions office how mean they were. When I didn't finish my college degree right away...no one was able to go earn that for me. I had to do that myself.
I think Victoria's hardest thing is when a child has something that she doesn't have and wants really bad. Or when a child gets to do something she wants to but doesn't get to. I could fold. It would be a lot easier. I don't think that helps her though. She has to see, once again, that just because somebody else has it.....doesn't entitle her to have it. Recently we went to GA for my graduation. There was a pool and my niece had been swimming. Victoria wanted to really bad but it's not something I had planned on. We didn't have swimsuits or anything so I told her no. She was not pleased. My sister offered to take her with them and really, that would have been ok. V could have gone in a t-shirt and panties. I had already said no though and so I took the opportunity to further teach her that just because someone else gets to do something does not mean she's going to get to.
Sometimes parenting is hard. It's not supposed to be easy. You are shaping a person. You have to teach this little being that they don't always get what they want, you have to teach them how to treat others and how to stand up for themselves. You teach them about values, hard work, respecting others, and about cleaning up after themselves. You teach them to be accountable for their actions and choices.....and so much more. It's not easy but someone has to do it.....you have to do it. Please don't teach your child how to feel entitled.
